Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
