I'm so fucking centered right now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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