I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
