why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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