I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
