In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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