This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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