I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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