That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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