how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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