i already hear my dad disowning me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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