His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
smell my finger.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
