Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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