Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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