Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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