let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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