some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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