What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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