Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
