I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
