i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize