Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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