He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
did i walk over a car last night?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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