So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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