4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm too high and old for this...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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