At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
