Buhtt sex?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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