As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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