we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
