theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
