jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
