Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
