you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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