Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
