David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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