I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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