Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
