you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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