how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
