I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize