By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
