Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
