why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
