why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
