i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize