I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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