he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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