carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
