I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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