there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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