take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You pole danced in your parka.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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