i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
