Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
