i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
