Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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