U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
