Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
