I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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