Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
